When we learn at the earliest stages, it’s from parents and family. These teachers are soon followed by friends, teachers, the world we live in, and our own experiences. By the time we get to the workplace, most of us know a lot and apply a great deal of what we’ve learned to the world of work.

Many of the people I run across tell me how much they enjoy learning. It’s great to hear that. There is so much to know and learn about working with the many kinds of people you encounter.

However, it is impossible to know everything we will need to know to get through an entire career without hitting a hurdle or two. Different situations at work call on different skill sets. Different types of people require an interpersonal dexterity that can be often be very challenging. Self-knowledge is important here but when you are responding quickly, there is limited time for reflection, thought, learning and application.

When I hear someone say that they have never, in their whole career, run into someone like this – where they needed help figuring how to work with someone, it just means that up until know, the skills they have acquired have worked. But now they don’t.

And if someone says that they know what to do, but no one sees any evidence that they are able to execute the strategy or skill to obtain the desired outcome, then it there is no observable proof that they know what they claim to know.

When you attend a Stress Management training program but feel that your stress is out of control, you’ve got a gap between what you know and what you put into practice. You can read a million diet books about stress management but if you don’t integrate true relaxation techniques into your day and increase the effectiveness of the skills you need to handle the demands of your life, then it’s unlikely you’ll see a reduction in the amount of stress you feel.

I bet we can all relate stories about the gap that exists when people that we know profess to have knowledge but behave as if they don’t! Here is how you can close the gap that exists between knowing and doing:

Maybe Not Alone - Not everyone needs a mentor, coach, or consultant but there are times when that is exactly what is needed! There are times for all of us when someone to hold your feet to the fire and ask the hard questions is exactly what is needed – the person who asks you to explain behavior that appears at odds with your stated goals and desires.

Expect Some Discomfort or Pain – A client once told me that the he understood what he needed to do but didn’t like the awkwardness and discomfort of learning how to put the new skills into practice. He decided that the discomfort was not worth the goal. Be honest with yourself about how important the goal is to you. .

Keep Track – If you want to move forward you have to measure where you are and where you’ve been. Measure every effort and celebrate the increments. Most people don’t go from ‘uninformed’ to ‘informed’ to ‘mastery.’ We want things to happen fast, but learning and integrating that learning into behavior may take some time.

Feedback – You opinion is not always the only one that counts. It you think you are a great communicator, or boss - but no one else does, then review how you are assessing your abilities. A lack of feedback doesn’t reveal anything other than a lack of information. Asking others to tell you how they know you have specific skills is a way of getting closer to obtaining useful information. (How would you describe my ability at coaching? What do I do that makes you think that? )

Showing others by doing is the best way to prove that you know the things you say you know. Often it’s the only way.

Nationally recognized consultant, trainer, author and professional speaker Joni Daniels is Principal of Daniels & Associates, a management consulting practice that specializes in developing people in the areas of leadership and management, interpersonal effectiveness and efficiency, skill- building, and organizational development interventions. With over 30 years of experience, she is a sought after resource for Fortune 500 clients, professional organizations, higher education, media outlets and business publications. Joni can be reached at http://jonidaniels.com